Signing

So, Joe's not verbal. At all. 

He once said, "Mom", clearly and intelligibly. I turned to him and tried to get him to say it again, and all that came out was "Mah, mah". 

I'm not sure what is wrong. He's now three and a half. He's had 5 surgeries on his mouth. He has extremely low muscle tone---even in his mouth. If he eats blueberry yogurt, he still cannot get the blueberries out from under his tongue. 

So, there is a lot physically that can account for Joe not being verbal. 

We've emphasized signing at home. We're watching "Signing Time", we look words up in our ASL dictionary. We use asl.lds.org for Church signs. Jim and I are going to start taking a 6 week ASL class together soon. Rae and Caleb are learning to sign so they can talk to Joe, too. It's a big part of our life right now. 

It's fun to see what Joe is thinking about. Frequently, it's Baby Dragon, my stuffed animal that Grandma gave me when I was born.

He's also able to say funny things, like, "Mom, your hair is black". Rude! I've insisted that is dark brown for a long time! Jim just laughed. I think he takes Joe's side. 

But sometimes, especially recently, it's, "Mom, I want horse." or, "I want horse food". Which, since food and eat are the same sign, he could have been trying to say that he wants to eat a horse. Gross!

Now that I see how much Joe can communicate, I am finally realizing how much he is missing. 

Joe has ear infections. All the time, even with ear tubes. His ear tubes get blocked with wax and fluid stays on his ear drum, and I imagine it is like trying to hear underwater. So he can hear, but not that well. Signing with Joe has opened up my understanding of his hearing problems. 

For example, Joe can't hear the difference between "cat" and "hat" or "bear" and "hair". But, because he can sign, I know that he is confusing those those words. Before, I just didn't know.

 The medical world is confusing and not reassuring. Last October, the audiologist said that Joe can "probably hear". April 2015, the ENT surgeon said that Joe had "mild to moderate" hearing loss in his right ear. She also said that it might be a result of inflammation and scarring from his ear infections---so it might correct itself over time. 

Which led me to think that it was not a big deal. It would fix itself. Mild doesn't sound bad, right? But what if "mild" means that Joe can't hear the difference between "cat" and "hat"? What if that means that Joe sits in a mostly silent world, with some sounds that don't convey meaning?

It is a bit terrifying to learn a new language, especially if I need to model that language for my son. I'm out of my depth, and venturing into a new community of people that communicate visually. I don't know what I am doing. I feel like I am grasping for a life preserver, so I can help my son not drown. 

We were playing the "How are you?" game. I would sign "How you?" to Joe and he would say, "I fine" or "So-so." or "I tired".  Then, he would sign, "How you?" back to me. I would say rude things like "I need to poop." And he would giggle. And then we would sign about feeling "poopy".  

Because it is educational.