Where's Raeford? There he is!

Rae came up with a new variation on an old favorite. 

Where's Raeford? 

There he is! 

I like that he thinks I can't see him in the milk crate. 

And that he is so proud of himself! 

That's my boy. 

Grandparents

Grandparents are wonderful, and there's a lot of appeal to being a grandparent.  Skip that whole parenting thing, go straight to grandkids. 

But, I wouldn't trade my boys for grand babies. 

Yet. 

Mr. Graff's parents came out for a couple weeks, hoping to meet Joseph when he arrived. Ha. Joseph had other plans, so Grandma Frances got to meet him only 12 hours before she hopped on a plane to go home. 

But, they got lots of good Raeford time.

Raeford is my gadget-man. I think in a few years, he'll know more about my computer than I do.

He also loves steering wheels. 

And running around with Grandpa. 

In the mornings when Gary and Frances were in town, Rae would wake up and ask where they were and get super excited when they came over. He'd run up and down the hallway, squealing happy squeals and kicking the soccer ball to Grandpa. 

Mr. Graff, Grandpa, and Rae went out on adventures. I believe this is the Bel Aire mansion in the background. 

Rae also had to go visit the pediatrician because of a long-term runny nose, that progressed to an awful sounding hack that woke him up. He took his first round of antibiotics, got rashes on the backs of his legs, and fortunately, got over that. 

Rae specializes in helping. Or hindering. However you want to look at it. He loves pushing the shopping cart. 

At the cryptology museum with Grandpa. 

Separating silverware with Grandma Ruth. 

Making persimmon cookies with Grandma Ruth. 

Ah! Where did Grandma go!?

Whew, she's back. 

Rae really tries to do things all by himself. Which is great... 

until you add flour. 

But Grandma Ruth was good about keeping the mess contained. 

Good for her. 

Yup, grandparents are wonderful. 

Milk Makin' Mama

So, I joined the world of exclusive pumpers.

Exclusive pumping was not my plan, but Joseph was born with PRS (Pierre Robin Sequence). This means he has a small jaw, his tongue blocked his airway, and he has a cleft in his soft palate. Way too many strikes against breastfeeding the old fashioned way.

So, here I sit, typing and pumping with my rented Medela Symphony breast pump. I neither love nor hate it, it's just something I do, and I'm glad to give what I can to help Joseph grow. I feel that is important.

Here's some things I've learned so far:

It's not all or nothing. I make five and a half ounces for an entire day's worth of pumping---I'm  proud of those five and a half ounces, but it's not nearly enough to cover Joseph's needs (he takes 26.7 ounces per day). Some days it's easy to lose heart, or lose perspective because I'm not making enough. The true perspective is I can do something and something is better than nothing. It benefits me, Joseph, and any other children I will have.

Don't quit on your worst day. This is the best advice I've ever been given. If the day went horribly, and I just feel like crap and want to quit, I remember this piece of advice. If I am going to quit, let it be later. I can do one more pumping session.

Focus on today. I often get caught up in thinking, "how I am going to manage when blah-blah-blah happens?" I'm a planner, a forward thinker, and I feel less stress when I know what to expect and when to expect it. Fitting pumping into my day is a huge commitment. I pumped in a bathroom stall at church.  I've pumped riding in the car. It takes some creativity and flexibility, but mostly, it takes just thinking about today and not worrying about how I will manage tomorrow.

Be forgiving. It's easy to become neurotic about scheduling and not doing anything else with your life, but when everything conspires against my best laid plans, I've learned to be forgiving of myself. I've not lost ground, and I trust that my best effort will work.

Hope for the best. I feel a sense of hope about this whole process. I feel like at some point I will make enough to feed my baby. As I've charted this, it has gotten better. I remember when I pumped an ounce for an entire day's worth of pumping---and that was not long ago. It's steadily getting better.


I'm still researching and looking for ideas. With what I know now, I am doing the best I can, and that is enough.