Reflections on a Second Pregnancy

Pregnancy is the blanket excuse for oddity.

You plot punch a lady at Home Depot? Don’t worry—you’re pregnant. You re-arranged the living room furniture again? You feel like crying over seeing a pile of dishes in the sink? You’ve become a narcoleptic? These hormones, too, shall pass.

Oddities aside, this pregnancy I know [better] what to expect and what I want, and I can actually visualize having a newborn. Last time, I spent many unconstructive hours imagining my belly growing a tumor. My first thought when I heard Raeford give his inaugural cry, was “Oh good, you’re not a tumor.”

So, even though this pregnancy feels more real to me, I seem less aware of my baby this time. Some things do strike attention: Widget moves a lot, but not aggressively like Rae did. She’s beginning to notice sounds and loves to play with her brother. She likes cuddles and seems a curious soul.

With Rae, everything was new about my life—not just the burgeoning belly. I was  just married, my husband was looking for work, he got a new job, I graduated from BYU, we moved cross-country a month before Rae’s birth, found a new midwife, and new place to live with new people.  Those, of course, are just the highlights.

I knew it would work out, but it was hard. Really hard.

God tutors me through my life experiences. The lessons from this experience I’m still trying to understand. I’m sure He must see something in it that I don’t yet. Someday I want to understand and feel gratitude for it.

The strain of that experience prompted me to bargain with God. No more children for a while, okay? Okay, Icie, said God, not for a while.

So, life went on.

Gradually, I started to feel like there was a child that needed to be part of our family soon. “But I’m not ready,” I reminded the Lord, and again I felt like He would not send the baby until I was ready.

I remember that moment. Mr. Graff and I were grocery shopping and all of a sudden I knew that I was ready for another baby. I said a short, sincere prayer and carried on, thinking that God would wait to send me another child.

He didn’t.

Now as I think about all the reasons I wanted to delay this pregnancy, I realize that this plan is much better for me. Things line up nicer this way. The bishopric can find a new seminary teacher for next year without rushing. When we move next spring, Widget will be seven months old, and it’ll be easier to move with a seven month old than a newborn.

And, I’m looking forward to a baby-free 2013.

For now, my most pressing thoughts concern twins. I measured seven weeks ahead at my last pre-natal check-up. It surprised my midwife, but not me, I feel huge. We might have heard a second heartbeat. I might have felt two heads. It’s not conclusive, but seems like a real possibility. It’ll be more apparent in a few weeks when they’re bigger.

Twins. I’ve had it easy for too long…

Petting a Lobster

Mr. Graff wanted to go to a Crab Shack for his birthday this year. 

The owner of the restaurant was super nice and loved Studly. She brought out a lobster for him to pet. 

At first he was a little nervous. 

But after Mom, Dad, and the Lobster lady pet the lobster, Studly decided it was okay, too, and poked its eyes. 

Chocolate Cupcake

A family in our ward invited us over for dinner during the power outage--super nice of them. 

They fed us chocolate cupcakes for dessert.  

Studly loved them. 

Loved them to mushy pieces. 

Now I know. My boy likes chocolate. 

The end. 

Storms, Maryland-style

So...

Mr. Graff and I woke up Saturday morning and happened to notice that the power was out. We both thought the bathroom light had just burned out when we got up with Raeford, but no, the power was actually gone. 

And our adventures began. 

I noticed a few raindrops on the window, but the parking lot was essentially dry. 

"Huh, did it rain last night?" 

We went on a walk to drop off mail and ask our neighbors if their power was out, too. Yup, their power was out and lots of them were out of doors milling around asking questions. Okay, we thought, maybe it's just our neighborhood. 

We get down to the shopping center beside our complex and all of the employees at Pep Boys are out on the curb, looking forlorn. "Weird," I think, "they don't have power either". By this point, we're beginning to suspect that something biggish had happened, but yet confident that our power would be back on by the time we walked home. 

Ha. 

On our way back home, we spotted a downed tree in the playground behind our building. 

I still had not gotten a gift for the baby shower I was going to be attending that morning, so we decided to venture out on the roads. While leaving the parking lot, we found another downed tree that we could not drive around. 

Do you see Mr. Graff? 

Maybe it was a BIG storm. 

On the road, most of the stoplights were dead. Traffic in Maryland is always interesting, but without some semblance of order, i.e. traffic lights, it's nerve wrecking. Fortunately, Saturday morning most people were being overly cautious. 

The big clue that this was a BIG storm came traveling down Route 1, six telephone poles were knocked in half. Lots of people didn't have power. The estimates we heard were around a million people powerless. 

On our merry way, we spotted this street sign on the ground. 

Since we've moved here, we've had a hurricane, tornado, and earthquake. A HURRICANE, TORNADO, and an EARTHQUAKE. 

But one Friday night storm took our power out for three days. 

I'm happy to report that our fridge and freezer have never been cleaner, and that I'm now working on getting our 72 hour kit together. 

Bring it.